


Persevere Through So many Deaths

by AnnAisu



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: But it isn't explicitly stated, Determination, Dry Humor, Reader Is Frisk, Second person POV, Somewhat dark humor, Timeline Shenanigans, Undertale Pacifist Route, Yet...if ever, you die a lot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-13 12:16:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7976536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnAisu/pseuds/AnnAisu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Equipped with a bandage and a stick, you can only try your hardest to make your way through the entire Underground. You can Save and Load - come back every time you die, as long as you remain determined enough. ...Unfortunately, this ability is in high demand where literally every monster you come across (save the townsfolk) want to fight you. They are all quite good at killing you in various painful ways, even if they don't intend to. You have to forgive them, because you can tell they don't mean it, but... even though they can't be seen, each death leaves a scar that might never heal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Persevere Through So many Deaths

**Author's Note:**

> You have probably read many stories where all the monsters in the Underground are killed by the player... but the monsters aren't the only ones who die in Undertale.  
> Warning - there's a reason this story is called PTSD in my notes.

The flower had seemed nice enough, but a little weird. It was kind enough to explain what was going on, but he lied, and the little white pellets had _hurt_ , gave you deep bruises on both your body and soul.

[Save]

Toriel wasn’t there to scare off the frogs, and you couldn’t figure out how to get away without hurting them, and there were flies coating your body as you were smashed into a wall. Buzzing filled your ears as you lay broken on the ground.

[Load]

Buffeted by waves of stinging insects, you’re knocked back into the flies the Froggit is spitting out, and you fly into death.

[Save]

You feel bad for the lonely ghost – it’s easy to see how sad it is when you are drowning in its acidic tears.

[Load]

The talking vegetable kept trying to shove food at you, insisting that it was there to help, but it tasted like poison as you choked and died, fighting for air.

[Load]

You’ve died four times in the ruins already. Maybe you should have stayed put after all, no matter how long you had to wait… but you don’t feel safe here.

[Save]

Scorching strands of fire cross your desperately dodging soul, but you can’t even scream as you’re seared out of existence.

[Load]

Row after row of fireballs chase you down, spurt from the hands that once tried to keep you safe and comforted. You die in silent agony, your soul shrieking where your body cannot.

[Load]

No matter how much you beg or plead or cry or apologize, she keeps attacking you and you keep dying. You don’t think she realizes that she’s killing you, and you don’t know if that makes any of this better or even worse.

[Load]

She terrifies you, now, and you can barely look at her without your soul burning in agony.

[Load]

You really don’t want to fight anymore – as if you ever did in the first place – and she finally stops killing you. The hug is nice and warm, and her pleas are soft and sad, so you forgive her. Maybe one day you’ll even call her mom again – but probably not, since she never wants to ever see you again.

You wonder if she noticed your flinch as she bent down to hug you. You hope not.

[Save]

The monster before you seems very strong and a little scary. You think he’d understand what he was doing if he killed you, and that he easily could if he wanted to. You aren’t dead yet, though, and he doesn’t seem to want you dead… so this makes the first person to talk to you that hasn’t tried to kill you. Yet. He helps you leave with a smile and some good advice.

[Save]

The bird monster is trying so hard to make you laugh that it’s slaying you with bad jokes. You don’t think that’s very funny.

[Load]

You think the tall skeleton is pretty weird and slightly too loud, but he’s also pretty funny and kind of nice. He’s a different funny than Sans, but he still makes you smile. Unlike Sans, you don’t think Papyrus would understand if he killed you. Unlike Toriel, you think he wouldn’t be killing you, except through a crazy accident or with these weird puzzles.

[Save]

You like the cold, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t painful or deadly.

[Load]

Blue… stop signs? That’s just so weird; you don’t think you’ll ever be able to forget. You wonder if that was the point.

[Save]

You didn’t want to compliment its stupid hat anyways.

[Load]

Despite not being able to see you, the dogs are really good at killing you.

[Load]

You flinch every time they bark, and their attacks are a lot more accurate with all of your movement. You fall to pieces even quicker than before.

[Load]

You have to admit, it’s nice just listening to the two brothers and solving their puzzles – even if San’s word search cheats.

[Save]

The dog hidden in the snow-poff is adorable, affectionate, and he smothers you to death, tail wagging all the while.

[Load]

You are incredibly glad that you took the time to go back and save when you see Papyrus’ last puzzle. It’s a deadly setup, with dogs and chainsaws and flamethrowers, and you begin preparing to weather through all of the deaths and loads it will take to make it through without dying… but the overly exuberant skeleton doesn’t set it off. He blusters, and bluffs, but he disengages the trap and lets you move on. You’re confused, grateful, and more than a little relieved. Maybe Sans the Shorter Skeleton was right, and at least this monster wouldn’t hurt you?

[Save]

You have to face down Papyrus, and you’re worried – for more reasons than just your temporary death, this time. You remember the deadly trap, and how the sweet skeleton couldn’t bring himself to activate it. This battle is probably going to hurt both of you. You’re perversely glad that it’s not just you that’ll be getting hurt, but you feel bad about wanting him to get hurt to, so you try to forget that thought.

His attacks are… kind of sad, at first, and you pause to flirt with him. He’s sweet, and it sounds like he needs a boost of genuine self-confidence; his boasting sounded hollow to you more than once. He’s distracted… and you’re blue. (How could a blue stop sign prepare you for this???) Suddenly you’re fighting gravity as well as Papyrus, and his attacks are getting more powerful, and you’re starting to stumble, and you can see your death approaching as you trip and fall in the middle of his attack.

White bone shatters against you, and you brace yourself for death, for the next hit, but you’re still alive and the attacks stop. Papyrus says something, but you’re fainting. You wake up in his garage with a note asking you to stay put. You walk out of the to-large fence, Determined to see if your survival was just a lucky accident.

It wasn’t. Papyrus won’t kill you. When you wake up in the hospitable ‘cell’ again, you almost can’t believe it. You spend the next ten minutes crying, curled up on the too-small cushion. Someone here refuses to kill you, not even by accident.

[Save]

You end up enjoying your next ‘fight’ with Papyrus, listening to him talk as you dodge all his attacks. You giggle at his completely normal ‘Cool Dude’ attack and as he talks himself out of capturing you.

You go on a date with Papyrus, then out for lunch with Sans. You manage to relax and have fun, even though the grill is filled with monsters that have violently killed you. You wonder if Sans noticed your flinch when you passed the axe-wielding dog couple. If he did, he says nothing.

[Save]

Woshua seems very determined to hose down anything with a speck of dirt on it. You’re still sweaty and gross when you drown, but maybe you’re a bit cleaner than before. You wish the cleanliness would stay and that the pain would go away instead.

[Load]

You make a mad dash across the bridge, and try to double back to confuse your relentless attacker. You just end up trapped, with spear after spear tearing straight through you.

[Load]

You didn’t realize that Sans was a fan of science. You did guess that he was a bit of a practical jokester, to go along with his puns. Both of these facts came to light as you came away from his telescope with red ink around your eye. It matches the puffy redness from crying that was there first.

Sans gives you a full refund on your free look. He also passes you a handkerchief, which has PAPYRUS – COOLEST DUDE written in sharpie along the bottom. You take it gratefully, and don’t ask why Sans has Papyrus’ hankie, or why a magical pile of walking and talking bones would need a handkerchief in the first place.

[Save]

Aaron melts you with his acidic sweat before round housing you in the face, breaking your jaw. You’re very glad that when you wake up, all that’s left of the damage is phantom pains.

[Load]

Your muscles are still spasming from your successful flexing contest when Shyren nervously pops up. You try to encourage her, and she perks up immensely. You end up getting hit with the full force of Shyren’s renewed enthusiasm. Your eardrums pop, explode, and then your head follows suit.

[Load]

You are nearly skewered by Undyne’s spears more than once. You are actually skewered by her spears plenty of times. You now know what an animal on a roasting spit feels like.

[Load]

You really wish the spears would stop appearing from under you. The way they rip through nearly all of your internal organs each time you’re caught by one is incredibly (and unsurprisingly) painful.

[Load]

Who… was that voice? It reminded you of the voice you kept hearing whenever you died.

[Save]

You don’t know what you said that scared the other dummy away – you hadn’t even realized the dummy was alive – but talking didn’t help with this mad dummy. You had almost managed to break free when you were trapped within a circle of homing missiles. The following explosions tore you apart.

[Load]

You enjoy lying around and feeling like trash with Napstablook, even if he is an uncomfortable reminder of all your deaths in the ruins.

[Save]

You haven’t seen a Moldsmal since the ruins – you kind of miss the peaceful little things. You both silently agree to part ways, but there’s another Moldsmal and it isn’t moving properly. You step closer, only for it to spring out of the ground and attack. You weren’t expecting the tall strands and bubbles of spitting acid.

[Load]

You run into a… Temmie, and follow it back to its village. It’s terrifying – there’s something _off_ with these off monsters. You barely stay long enough to sell some things off at the shop, but that’s more than long enough to accidently send the shop-Temmie into a heart-stopping death glare. You decide to leave the village immediately.

[Save]

You try to have a flexing contest with Aaron while Woshua is enthusiastically spraying water everywhere. It helps wash off the acidic sweat Aaron drips onto you, but it scrubs at your skin so vigorously that it feels as if you’re being flayed alive.

[Load]

Undyne keeps chasing right behind you, and the Monster Kid keeps getting in the way. You’re surprised that she doesn’t stab you when you double back to save the kid.

[Save]

You keep running from Undyne, and she keeps chasing. The last thing you see is a sign welcoming you to Hotland before your soul is frozen and a spear stabs you in the back.

[Load]

Undyne gets even trickier with her spears; challenging her was probably not a good idea.

[Load]

You only make it to the river room before you’re once more torn apart by spears.

[Load]

Undyne’s fangs flash just as brightly as her spears do when they’re coated in your blood.

[Load]

You beg for mercy and her attacks slow down… slightly. You’re not sure if you’re imagining the disgust on her face as you’re still skewered. You don’t think you are.

[Load]

Papyrus calls, and you nearly cry at the comforting sound of his exuberant voice. Undyne actually pauses politely until you hang up, and you may just hold the phone to your ear for an extra second in sheer disbelief.

You make it into Hotland, and the first thing you see is Sans. You think about crying to him for help as you run, but Undyne is right behind you and you don’t want to get him or his brother into trouble with their stab-happy fish-lady of a boss. He still manages to save you, even though he’s just sleeping.

[Save]

The surveillance was creepy and the game show was rigged. Electrocution wasn’t fun or even remotely pleasant. At least your new diet of monster food meant that when your body locked up and your bowels voided, there was nothing in them and you didn’t actually soil yourself.

[Load]

Your system was plagued with imaginary aftershocks, locking up your muscles until the electricity was back for real again. While you were frozen, you realized that Dr. Alphys’ frantic hand motions were actually the answers to each question.

[Load]

Tsunderplane was really shy, and became violent when you accidently got to close…but she obviously didn’t mean it, idiot!

[Load]

Blue stop sign meant stop for the blue lasers, and orange was the opposite. You remembered that easily enough, but when large clusters of lasers came flying at you ridiculously quickly… your flight or freeze moments kept getting mixed up.

[Load]

Vulcan thought he was helping. It took everything you had not to scream at him when his ‘help’ killed you. You wonder why you even bothered, when it barely mattered anymore.

[Load]

You weren’t sure about eating ‘dogs made out of plants, but it wasn’t the weirdest thing you’d eaten down here. You stocked up on some, and then asked for one more to go, but Sans put it on your head instead of in your hand. Then he did it again. And again, and again, and again… before you knew it, you had a giant stack of free hot dogs piled on your head. They didn’t stay there long before your giggles threw them off. You think you caught a blue glow, but you’re too busy catching one of the ‘dogs to be sure.

[Save]

Guards 01 and 02 were weird, you decided, but they coordinated their attacks well… very well.

[Load]

You played 02’s chest like a bongo drum, just because you could, and 01 got _really_ mad and flustered.

[Load]

You didn’t have a problem with spiders, especially when they were eating bugs. You decided that you did have a problem with spiders after you were wrapped in webs and swarmed with dozens of them at once.

[Load]

You think wistfully of the nice spiders back in the ruins. Their donuts were pretty good, if just as weird as most food down here, and you had used them to great effect when fighting. You wished you had some of their food with you now, as strands of webs covered up your face.

[Load]

Muffet’s pet spider-muffin had fangs as big as your face, and its mouth was bigger than your head. You found out both of these things at the same time, up close and personal, right before you reset. You wonder if having your head bitten off counts as decapitation.

[Load]

No matter how hard you try to run away, the webs keep you locked up in a firm grip. You have a front-row seat to feeling the dubious pleasure of having your insides melt into goop. You wonder how you-flavored donuts and cider would taste.

[Load]

You really want to start flailing and smash the spiders off of you, but you don’t think you could even if you were physically able to. You know better than to strike back. The webbing trapping your arms just makes that easier to remember.

[Load]

The song was actually very nice, in the beginning. You ‘danced’ with Mettaton, provoking an encore and delaying the demise that would surely come. You were still dropped into the dungeon, but at least you managed to have a little fun. The shaking in your hands was from anticipation, not from being electrocuted to death, no matter what your brain was trying to tell you. You were surprised when the fire stopped, and Mettaton ran away with barely any effort.

[Save]

Sans was hanging around outside the MTT hotel, and invited you to dinner – his treat, this time. You immediately leapt on the opportunity to spend time with someone who was _not_ trying to kill you. You both sit at the table, where you listen as Sans talks. He admits to keeping an eye on you, and you think of all the places he popped up at just when you did, only to never be there when you went back.

His simple and entirely logical assumption that you didn’t die once was the unintentional straw that broke the camel’s back. Your face twitches in remembered pain and terror, and the permanent grin on Sans face seems to fall. His eyes get darker, and his fists clench. You can tell that he knows something, something about how you keep coming back from death after death, always ready to take more abuse.

You can feel the water beginning to well up, as your vision becomes wavy and blurred. You grit your teeth and keep your eyes firmly closed, willing back the tears with pure determination. When something touches your face, you flinch back, expecting an attack or some form of blow. Your chair topples out from under you, but the expected pain from hitting the floor never comes.

Your eyes startle open slightly, and there’s a blue glow around you as you’re slowly lowered to the floor. You can’t help but stare at Sans, an echoing blue glow dimly lit in his left eye. He’s moved so that he’s beside you now, sitting down on the floor next to you. You don’t flinch this time, even as the glow disappears and he tips his head back.

“how many times, kiddo?” he asks. You don’t want to answer. There’s a minute of silence, where you just focus on even breathing and try not to cry, because crying never helps or makes it stop. “yeah, guess i couldn’t say, either.” You shift so that you’re actually looking at him, rather than just keeping him in the corner of your vision.

You don’t know what he means by that. He couldn’t give you the number of times you died, or the number of times that he died? You see something in his face that tells you it’s both. “Didn’t count,” you murmur, afraid to speak too loudly. His face contorts oddly around his fixed grin.

You watch him breathe out slowly, his skeletal body mimicking the movement of lungs. “this is why i don’t make promises, kid. it’s always so hard to keep them, over and over again.” Sans offered you a smile. “c’mon, kiddo, don’t make these dry bones sit on the floor all night. let’s get back up to the table, and we can _chair_ our stories up there. ” You smile slightly as he slowly stands up, stretching and popping his bones back into place before carefully extending a hand to you. You take his hand, half-expecting to find a whoopee cushion, but instead your clammy skin comes into contact with his oddly warm and gentle bones.

Sans easily pulls you to your feet, and you’re impressed by the strength of the small skeleton… though it changes to being impressed by his magic instead when you realize that you’re glowing slightly blue. You slip into the chair, wondering when it was up-righted. Sans slips back across from you, and you meet his penetrating gaze. “look, kid, we can _table_ this discussion for later, but it would probably be a _chair_ -y good idea to talk about what’s happening first.” The ridiculous puns pull a smile onto your face, and you nod hesitantly. “alright, let’s do it like this. you tell me some of what you know, i'll tell you some of what i know, and we both walk out of here with a few more nightmares and a few more answers.”

You don’t really like the sound of that, but Sans isn’t forcing you to talk about everything. Most of what you know isn’t even all that much, so it shouldn’t be too hard to say it. “I keep coming back.” You think that pretty much covers everything, but you should probably say more just in case. What has he figured out already, though? What have you figured out already? “Whenever I die, I wake back up. It’s like it never happened; only a bad dream, but I remember. I can feel it.” Your fist clenches as you raise it up to your chest. “It hurts.” You carefully place your hand on the table, keeping it from shaking.

“yeah. it really does hurt, even though nothing’s there. it doesn’t matter if your body never remembers it – your mind does, and your soul always will even if your body forgets.” Bony fingers rise up and slowly cover your own, movements obvious and deliberate.  “you ever gone back on purpose before?”

You stare at his hand covering yours, feeling comforted even though you can see your pink skin peeking out beneath the bone. His bones are softer than you expected; firm, but velvety rather than scratchy. You don’t have to think very hard about your answer. “I jumped back to walking with the monster kid. Undyne was right ahead, and I didn’t want to face her or get caught by her. I kept going back, picking up the umbrella and giving it to the statue, walking through the rain and around the puddles. I got a first look at the castle over and over again. It was… nice.”

You bit your lip, unsure whether you want to admit the other time you did it on purpose. Sans face looks softer now, the grin a bit less empty than it was earlier. You wonder how you’re reading emotions in a face made entirely out of bones and magic, before you realize that the magic is probably the how. It was even easier to read Papyrus’ emotions. “I, um, dated your brother several times. It was nice to spend time with him, even though I don’t… even though he kept getting the wrong idea.” You blush.

Sans laughed, and your blush grew deeper. “nah, kid, i can’t blame you. pap’s pretty cool, isn’t he?” You nod, waiting for the punchline or the punch. “you don’t have to keep loading to spend time with him, though.” You bit your lip again, and the taste of blood leaks into your mouth. Sans grin had dropped when he spoke, and you remembered how powerful you thought he was. “it’s kind of unfair, spending time with him, when he’ll never get to remember it, isn’t it?” He doesn’t sound like he’s trying to be cruel, but he definitely isn’t happy.

You wait for him to act on his anger, lash out like everyone else, and stay silent. You aren’t supposed to try and make excuses. Your tablemate just keeps waiting. You can tell that he’s expecting you to say something, but you don’t know what to say. “He…” You begin, and trail off. “He doesn’t have to spend so much time with me, like this.” You stop, trying to find words for all your reasons. “He’s busy with his important job, and I don’t want to mess that up.” You think of how happy Papyrus was when talking about his puzzles. “You don’t have to see me as much, either… but maybe you still do?” You trail off, confused. He figured out that you can go back, but does he remember? 

Sans closes his eyes and leans back, finally removing his hand from yours. “aw, kid, you should have realized by now that papyrus would love to spend time with you. he doesn’t get the option to hang out with his friends very often, so i bet he would really enjoy talking with you if you. you don’t have to reload to spend time with him – just call him with your _skele-_ phone.” The pun pulls a little smile onto your face, and Sans opens his eyes in time to catch it before it slips away. “really, kid, just give him a call when you’re wandering around down here. throw him a bone on the phone every now and then and he’ll talk your ear right off.”

You nod hesitantly, unsure but wanting to believe the laidback skeleton. You had called Papyrus several times – he had given you his number, after all – but you weren’t sure whether or not you were calling him too much. You knew better than to talk a lot or to demand attention. “give him a call as soon as you have time. he always picks up before the second ring, so he’ll be sure to be there.” Sans is smiling again, and it finally feels genuinely happy. Papyrus was really good at inspiring positive emotions wherever he went. “he’ll always answer when you call for him. he’s just cool like that.”

Finally, a smile breaks across your face as well. Papyrus really is a cool guy, maybe even the coolest monster in the entire Underground. You nod firmly this time, the thought of your friend filling you with determination.

[Save]

You feel lighter as you leave the restaurant. Sans had only talked for several more moments before leaving, but not before telling you something very important. “some people out there really care about you.” You wondered who he was including within those people… and why they cared about you in the first place. You had to believe Sans, though – he hadn’t lied to you yet, and he _knew_.

You were almost sick with relief that you weren’t alone, that you weren’t imagining everything. Then you felt terrible, because that meant you weren’t the only one to have died and come back, that he had also experienced the visceral terror. The sick feeling in your stomach wasn’t from relief anymore.

[Save]

Undyne was intimidating even when she was doing her absolute best to be polite, for Papyrus’ sake. You were amazed that she didn’t kill you when you visited her… but the agony of being crushed under falling debris and the agony of burning alive made you wish she’d just gone ahead and killed you quickly.

[Load]

You were so utterly confused, and the Madjick attacks spinning at you as you stumbled around in disorientation did not help – not one bit. The confusion and headache lingered even after you woke up.

[Load]

Alphys is trying her best to be helpful, but you really wish she had a better map when she guides you straight into a guard. It’s nighty-knight for you now as a Morningstar slams into your face.

[Load]

You fight not to scream and run when the lasers cut back on. You’re glad Alphys has at least some control over the situation, but it’s still not enough to keep you unharmed.

[Save]

When you reach the puzzle, you try to call Papyrus…but the phone won’t work. You stare at the device in betrayal, before shaking off how silly you’re being; the tears in your eyes don’t shake away quite as easily. Alphys isn’t answering either, and you’ve been abandoned again. You’re completely lost once more, and as you stare into the mist, you wonder how hot the core is and whether you’d reach the bottom.

[Load]

When you solved the puzzle, the bridge unlocked, and semi-familiar faces greeted you. You were confused as you stared death in the eye, not knowing why it wanted you to pick on it.

[Load]

You meet another Froggit and Whimsun, only these two are so much more powerful than back in the ruins. They seemed to have learned a lot in life – enough to easily take away yours.

[Load]

You realize just how close you’re getting to the king’s castle. The thought that you’re almost there fills you with determination – and a soul-deep relief.

[Save]

You don’t want to believe the killer robot…but it makes a horrifying amount of sense. Thoughts of Alphys’ betrayal lock you in place, making you an easy target for Mettaton’s attacks.

[Load]

You’re confused when you flip the robot’s switch and he goes into a weird anime-style transformation sequence, but you’re unsurprised when his attacks get even stronger and more varied than before. You are surprised when you manage to attack his heart and deal him damage…right before your own heart is hit.

[Load]

You can’t believe the narcissistic robot fell for the mirror trick. It’s almost as unbelievable as the mini-Mettaton figurines he uses as bombs.

[Load]

You think you’ve finally figured out a strategy for stopping Mettaton, and you do your utmost best to appeal to the monster audience watching. You try a little too hard, and pose a little too dramatically when your health is a little too low on health, and Mettaton is a little too violent for your poor soul to take the strain.

[Load]

You finish the fast paced battle with aplomb, or really, a _bomb_ as you manage to twist and twirl and pose your way through the fight and exploding figurines. You’re terrified when Mettaton’s eyes go dim, but Alphys reassures you that he just needs recharging.

You don’t know how to deal with Alphys, and how she’d just been using you – using you for friendship? You still didn’t really understand, and basically just pretended that she really was your friend and cared about you – you were good at pretending. You knew even less how to deal with the truth about escaping the barrier. You didn’t want anyone to die; not for you.

[Save]

You listen to the monsters as you pick up the keys and a worn locket, leaving a knife behind on the floor. You don’t see the use for it as you clutch your stick tighter, knuckles turning white around the bark as you listen to the story of the monster prince and the fallen human.

[Save]

Sunlight is streaming golden into the hall, banishing the pallor and casting everything in a rich hue. You should be happy – by the end of today, somebody would be free. You have to stop at the beginning of the hall and collect yourself – seeing all of those monsters, when every single one of them had killed you…

You have to take a moment and think. Had all of those monsters really killed you? The quiet monsters from the Ruins, the teenaged monsters from Snowdin, the excited monsters from Hotland, the experienced monsters from the Core… The fact that you had instinctively flinched away, preparing for battle whenever a new monster appeared told you that yes, yes you had died to them all.

Seeing all of the monsters together, healthy and hopeful… it made you feel hopeful, as well. You were filled with determination for the future.

[Save]

You listened to the speech from the darkened monster, shadows and magic hiding his form. The mode of speaking threw you off – the person sounded completely different, but you knew who this was. You knew who was telling you about EXP and LV, Execution Points and Level of Violence. You knew who was standing before you, Judging you.

“…but you. you never gained any LOVE.” There was a soft smile on Sans face as he looked at you, seeing your soul. He kept talking, telling you how well you’d done. “no matter the struggles you faced, you strived to do the right thing. even when the entire underground was against you, you never lashed out. you made friends out of enemies. you didn’t gain LOVE…but you did gain love.”

His voice was soft, and you wondered whether his last statement was just a pun, or if he actually believed that you’d gained any form of love. You didn’t think he would be joking at a time like this, but… His face shifted, losing its easy smile and turning more serious, even though the corners of his mouth never shifted. He warned you, warned you about what’s ahead, about how what you do will affect the fate of the entire world.

You weren’t ready. You didn’t want either of the options Sans presented – let Asgore destroy humanity, or destroy the hopes of the Underground. You wondered if there even was a choice – could Asgore take your soul, when you just came back, time and time again?

There was no more time to linger. Sans left, and you had to go forward.

[Save]

Neither of you wanted to fight. You both managed to delay until you were right before the barrier. Asgore was waiting for you, and the battle neither of you could avoid.

[Save]

He destroyed your Mercy. You couldn’t spare him, couldn’t save him, couldn’t find a way to keep him alive, and you both knew it. He knew that he couldn’t leave you alive, either, but his attacks didn’t show it. For all their ferociousness… they stopped just before you died. You could feel your soul hanging on by a thread, when you should be dead. He didn’t land the killing blow, giving you a chance to eat and heal. …you didn’t.

[Load]

You woke up outside the barrier room, and now you knew whose voice echoed in your head, encouraging you to never give up. You knew, in that moment, that Asgore would never be able to take your soul. This fight would be a pointless endeavor of pain for you both.

You waited outside the barrier room, trying to find a way to end this with both of you alive. You desperately tried to come up with something, anything. You couldn’t; you had to fight. You had to kill the king.

You slowly traced your way back through the castle, returning to the children’s bedroom. You stared at the knife you held in your hand.

[Save]

Asgore was still waiting. He still had the same difficulty landing that finishing blow upon you, but… you had similar difficulties in striking out at him. When you fell to his flames, the only damage you had done was to his royal robes.

[Load]

You were reminded of Toriel: her kindness, her soft warmth, her gentle yet regal features, her strength, her fire magic, her ability to kill you time and time again.

[Load]

You told Asgore that he’d killed you three times already. He nodded sadly, tears in his eyes. Tears filled your eyes as you carefully ate the butterscotch pie you’d saved this entire journey. The heat of the flames burnt away any moisture.

You weren’t the only one who was injured that time.

[Load]

Even when you were trying, and the king wasn’t, the battle was difficult. His attacks were powerful and coordinated, falling with heavy blows. He made each strike count.

When you managed to hit him, you made your strikes count as well.

[Load]

Your health dropped lower and lower. His health dropped lower and lower. His trident dropped; your body dropped.

[Load]

His eyes burned with power and a warning neither of you could heed.

You were hitting him every time, now. You felt like you needed a warning of your own.

[Load]

You didn’t want to. You didn’t know what else to do. The moment Asgore gave up fighting, the second he offered you an alternative, you threw away your knife. Relief rushed through you, fast and hot, as you realized neither of you would have to die –

[FILE CORRUPTED]

This… this was a true monster. Laughter echoed in your ears as your soul cracked and shattered.

{LOAD FILE 3}

Vines pierced your heart as you tried to dodge, but couldn’t.

{LOAD FILE 3}

You dodged the swarm of flies, and the laser –

{LOAD FILE 3}

You weren’t where you thought you were anymore. You didn’t dodge the flies.

{LOAD FILE 3}

Flowey was dropping F-Bombs all over the place. Flowey-Bombs were a blasted pain.

{LOAD FILE 4}

You didn’t know where you were. You didn’t know what you could do.

{LOAD FILE 3}

You didn’t know when you were. You didn’t know what Flowey could do.

{LOAD FILE 4}

Your world was pain and confusion and rage.

{LOAD FILE 4}

No one was coming.

{LOAD FILE 4}

No one was there.

{LOAD FILE 3}

You…were alone.

{LOAD FILE 4}

Flowey wasn’t alone. He was filled with the power of six human souls, and it showed. He even showed you the power of a specific soul – the soul of patience.

You called out to the soul. It answered.

You felt rejuvenated, empowered with the help of the soul. When Flowey called out the next soul – the soul of bravery – you knew what to do.

You died before you could call out.

{LOAD FILE 4}

You called out to Patience. You called out to Bravery. You called out to Integrity. You called out to Perseverance. You called out to Kindness. You called out to Justice.

They answered your call. They healed you, kept you from dying as you struggled against Flowey. They weakened him as they strengthened you, and you swung wildly with your gardening knife. You would win!

{LOAD FILE 6}

You were filled with despair as Flowey loaded, appearing unharmed once more, defenses once more nigh impenetrable. The smirk on the screen promised you a bad time.

{LOAD FILE 6}

You died to lasers tearing you apart, molecule by molecule.

{LOAD FILE 6}

You tried to dodge the lasers, but

{LOAD FILE 6}

You tried to dodge your inevitable death, but there was no _time_.

{LOAD FILE 6}

Pain.

{LOAD FILE 6}

Your existence was pain.

{LOAD FILE 6}

You stared dully at the ring of bullets, listening to Flowey monologue. You know what would happen next. You would die, and then die, and then die again, trapped in an inescapable hell of twisted loads.

The cycle was broken as the souls rebelled once more, tearing themselves and Flowey apart. Now he was the one defenseless before you as you felt your save file return. You stared at the empty flower for a long time, his face turned away from you as you decided its fate.

You spared the flower.

[Continue]

You received a phone call, interrupting the darkness of your mind. You listened to the voicemail, the voices of your friends filling you with determination. You knew what you needed to do.

[Load]

**Author's Note:**

> To be continued...?


End file.
